Dearly beloved....

En vecka kvar till Wifeys bröllop och jag sitter och försöker få ihop det där talet. Eftersom man inte direkt kan påstå att jag är en flitig bröllopsbesökare så tänkte jag att jag kanske kunde få lite hjälp från gamla goda internet när det gäller vett och etikett för bröllopstal.



Hittade följande lista på en sida om "Wedding Speech Etiquette"


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Hopefully, this will have helped you debunk the myth of wedding speech etiquette, but if not we do have our top 7 common sense rules for wedding speech etiquette:

1. At no point say, bellow or sing the word “shitspangle”.
2. Don’t be so drunk that you say, bellow or sing the word “shitspangle”.
3. Wait politely for the room to come to order before beginning your speech, don’t shout, “Shut up you bunch of shitspangles.”
4. Look smart, tuck your shirt in, keep your jacket on (better for sweat patch coverage anyway), check you have nothing in your teeth and don’t wear a headband bearing the word “shitspangle”.
5. When speaking maintain a confident and relaxed posture. Don’t slump, jangle change in your pocket or do an interpretive dance so that when people ask you what you’re supposed to be you say, “I thought that would be obvious, I’m a shitspangle.”
6. Don’t fiddle with your speech (which should be a neat, new copy, not daubed with notes or shitspangle, dog-eared and ripped), hold it firmly and confidently, project to the back of the room, make eye contact with your audience and smile.
7. Can’t tell whether a joke is too bawdy for your speech? Go and tell it to a grandmother, then tell it to a seven-year-old child. If either of them look angry, cry or vomit then it’s wayyyyy off track.

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New favourite word of the day:

Shitspangle